saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
