WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
