at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
