dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
