Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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