It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
