your room smells of hookers.
And success
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
