Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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