So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
