I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
