I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
