the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
