he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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