don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I die, sorry about rent.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
