Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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