the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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