office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
