Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize