I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
