i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
this hospital has no fireball
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize