You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
