I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
