just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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