I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
