the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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