i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize