Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
