Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what day is it and did you see me today?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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