then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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