I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
