Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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