Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
