What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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