I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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