Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
