i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
time to smoke my breakfast
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
