We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
