fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
