I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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