My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
