yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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