I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize