with your own penis?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
