I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
