I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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