oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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