If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
