Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
