Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
