and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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