ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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