i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
