I want to make a zoo with you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We just shotgunned beers for America
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
