Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize