Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He passed out mid-signature
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
