Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
