ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
