community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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