You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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