did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
