R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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