after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
