Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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