haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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