Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
